I'll Sit This One Out
by Macca Fan
Summary: Jealousy paired together with alcohol is never a good mix; Just what is the real reason behind Patsy's unusual behaviour?
1. Can you just hold me?

\- ( _A very_ _ **BIG**_ _thank you to Steff for being the beta reader on this one. If there are any errors left over then they are all mine.) -_

This closeness was needed the level-headed midwife decided as she found herself in her lover's bed. Risky as it was, while silence swept, filling every corner of Nonnatus house. They both knew the chances they were taking, as heated kisses and roaming hands captured their senses. Pressing herself down upon her Welsh lover underneath her. The pull was too strong to simply fight, as Delia cooed, "Yna..Pats.." In her native tongue.

"Sh..Sweetheart." Soft words, mouthed as she ran her hand along her thigh. Savouring the delicate smoothness of her skin, under her fingertips.

"Cusan i mi." The brunette pleaded, capturing Patsy's lips, pulling at her pyjama top as she did so. The yearning beckoning them.

Movement! Distinctive, clear sounds of footsteps could now be heard down the hall. Each heavy set stride, seemingly fast approaching; The creaks of the floorboards breaking through the private moment that was once safely housed inside. Panic immediately sank into the very core of the red head. Her eyes widened, seeing the fear inside her lover's gaze, mirrored back at her, "Delia? Did you lock the door?" Trying to keep her voice steady for Delia's sake as much as her own.

She saw her freeze and shake her head, "I thought you did, cariad?" She whispered, her breath becoming even more rapid.

The implication of her words, almost too much to bear. She shouted at herself inwardly for letting her lust over power her to the point of forgetting caution. _'You should have made sure. You should have double checked the door was locked.'_ Patsy chastised herself, but the want of Delia's touch had won out.

She scrambled up from the bed suddenly; somebody was entering into the room. A thousand thoughts flew around her head. _'Who could be up at this hour? Had Trixie noticed her absence?'_

Staring for a second as Delia adjusted herself, her hair, her night shirt, Patsy felt a complete failure. Her thoughts pounded her head, _'It's your solemn job to protect her. To keep her safe, to guard your love. The love you have fought so hard to keep alive. You've failed!'_ Is all that she keeps telling herself.

As the door handle is turning she stops. She considers her surroundings, looking around. There must be a way. _'You must protect Delia, at all costs.'_

Observing her lover's panic stricken face, it's clear she is just as lost. Without a single clue of what to do next. Time to take charge. _'Think, Patience's think!'_ She orders herself, as she catches sight of a way out. A hope. A chance.

Darting under the bed is the best plan she has. There really are not many options. Now under cover, Patsy was sure her heart was beating so fast that it could be heard by all. As a bead of sweat rolled down from her forehead, onto her flushed cheek, trickling to her chin as it dripped onto the floorboard below.

Waiting. There were footsteps. Chatter. Slight relief as she heard Sister Monica Joan. From what she can understand, there is confusion. Her voice is quite shrill, the custard creams are gone. All that is left is an empty biscuit tin. The red head would smile, if she were able to muster one. Still, sister Monica Joan does not know that Delia is not alone. There is no time for being overly confident. Patsy listened on. She can hear her sweet Delia, trying to reassure the confused nun.

The springs of the bed move closer down to the top of her head, as Delia must be exiting from the bed. Holding her breath, she spies a pair of bare feet meet another set of feet. Beginning to walk away, leaving the room behind as they set off.

As the room falls silent, Patsy slowly breathes out and decides to wait for a little longer. As the minutes soon pass they feel, like they're turning into burdening hours. It seems like forever before she feels safe enough to make a move. Scared that someone could still discover that she's taking shelter under Delia's bed. A situation that couldn't be so easily explained away. She couldn't say she was simply looking for the already eaten biscuits.

The silence now is so deafening it seems to fill her ears; time to get going. She could always say she over heard the commotion on her way to the bathroom; Yes! Time to leave her hiding place from under the bed. Sliding forward on her stomach, using her forearms, one in front of the other. She moves.

She begins to notice that she must be more under the bed than she first realised. She isn't getting anywhere.

Pulling forward, she frowned, _'It is only a small bed. Why is this taking so long?'_ She pondered. Moving forward, while glancing up, she noticed the door is further away. Frowning, the light from the hall way is also getting distant. She pulls at a quicker pace. Fear sets in, as she whimpers slightly as she still pulls herself along. It's no use. The room is disappearing and the bed is becoming wider. So scared now, Patsy doesn't care who can hear, she must shout for Delia's help. "DELIA!" Is yelled to no use, "DELIA!?"

She calls several times but the underneath of the bed has no end in sight.

"DELIA PLEASE!"

She wakes in a cold sweat, sitting bolt up right in the darkness. In her own bed. The dream still fresh and vivid in her mind, as she glances in the darkness to a sleeping Trixie. Completely undisturbed by her nightmare. Grasping tightly at her pyjama shirt, she needed comfort. She suddenly feared the dark of the night that seemed to be surrounding her. Hopping out of her bed, creeping out of the room, along the hall. To the safe arms that lay behind the door down the corridor. Without knocking, the midwife entered, to find Delia still in a sleep filled haze. With a yawn and a rub of her eyes, she blinked, "Pats?"

Her voice already putting her at ease as she darted besides her upon the bed, "Can you just hold me?" Was all that could be uttered as she felt her lover's arms hold her tightly.

"What is it, Pats? Sweetheart?" The concern in her voice all to evident to hear, but without a single explanation, she answered her own question, "Another bad dream, Cariad?"  
Soothingly, the younger nurse caressed her red hair softly. With a nod from Patsy, she held her closer, giving a long kiss on the top of her lover's head, she held her face between her hands. "Get under the covers. You're shivering." She instructed as her girlfriend did as she requested.

Holding her close, Patsy shut her eyes tightly. Breathing all of her in as she began to tell her of the dream; explaining away all the fears that held her mind as she slept. It all seemed to disappear under her soft lilt. "For a moment...I felt I was back there, Deels. Back in that place. Hiding..." Patsy confided. Only Delia would ever hear her fears.

Taking her hand, she locked their fingers together, protecting her from any hurt. Giving a single peck to her lips, she knew that Patsy just wanted to be held. To sleep safe in her loving arms.

Morning was soon upon them. Patsy awakened with a smile as Delia was still beside her, still guarding her. Petting her hair, she watched her sleep. She loved to do this every morning. "Morning sweetheart." Delia smiled lovingly, "Least I'm awake before you've had time to sneak away." She jibed playfully as she kissed her lips.

"Yes. It would appear so, but.." The red head was about to say with a knowing nod.

"You want another kiss before you go?" She smiled already leaning in. A tender kiss before she has to get back to her own room.

At breakfast, Trixie was talking with much enthusiasm about the dance hall she wanted to attend. The blonde wanted to prove that she could still be fun without the assistance of any alcohol in her blood stream. And to prove that she really has come a long way. Despite the fact that, somewhere deep, deep down inside, she may still be tempted to drink, she simply doesn't want to. Exchanging sly, knowing glances, Patsy and Delia can't help but agree to Trixie's night out. Filled with excitement that is plain to see, Trixie continued to eat her breakfast.

After another long day of rounds, Patsy found a quiet moment to talk with Delia, mainly regarding their night out with Trixie. Sitting next to her upon the bed, Delia can't help but smile as Patsy complained about how the night will be ghastly.

"All I really want is to dance with you, Deels. You've given me quite the taste for it after the Gateways club." Patsy nodded as she lit a cigarette, reaching out, taking Delia's hand in her own. She had really rather begun to like the seeming privacy that the Gateways had to offer. She had come to view it as a safe haven. A shelter, where they could truly be themselves. Even if it was for only a couple of hours. It was theirs.

"Same here Pats, and what did I tell you?" Delia gloated. Her smile beaming, not taking her gaze from Patsy's blue eyes.

"Okay, Alright. Once again Delia, you have the knack of always being right." Patsy playfully frowned, exhaling her smoke. The midwife was grateful that her girlfriend had patience with her. To let her come around to new ideas.

"Don't I just." She smiled back lovingly, gripping the red head's hand tighter.

"Sometimes." Both women giggled together.

"Pats?" The brunette stated, sounding more like a question, "I know you'd rather spend our night off doing something else, but I think Trixie needs this."

Raising her eye brow, she knew Delia was right. She just didn't like the thought of being asked to dance. Or Delia being asked to dance by a bothersome chap, who couldn't take the hint and leave them alone.

"Fine. We will go." She tried her best to smile. After all it was only one evening, for Trixie.

 **A/N - As always, thank you in advance for any kind reviews on this chapter. More soon. x x x**


	2. You're being utterly ridiculous

**\- Thank you again, Steff for reading this through. Your help was needed. If there are any mistakes left over, then they are all mine. -  
**

* * *

She sank further into the bottom of the drinking glass, feeling the gin washing around her pallet, tasting it. Feeling the heat rising from the depths of her gut, she sighed. It was in no way improving her temperament; her mood still just as bleak as it had been two minutes ago.

She stared with a frown, unnoticed, across to Trixie who was clutching her soda bottle laughing with Barbara. She blamed her entirely for dragging her out tonight, when she had not wanted to go.  
In fairness she knew it wasn't Trixie's fault, it had been all her own. She never quarrelled with Delia, not really. Only on very rare occasions and tonight she had done just that.

As the music flooded the rather crowded dance hall, the words to a song caught Patsy's full attention. 'No other baby' sang rather heartbrokenly by 'Dickie Bishop and the sidekicks.'

Not only did the music remind her of the square dance that they had attending together, but every word he sang could have been about how she felt at that very moment. Her drunken stupor came crashing around her even more as she drank the last of her gin. To think the evening had started off surprisingly well, she recalled...

* * *

The four girls had got ready with smiles and the Dansette playing. With the kindness of sister Mary Cynthia, taking Barbara's telephone duties. so they could all attend the dance together. Trixie was determined to have a good night.

Patsy linked her arm through her girlfriend's arm, as the blonde and brunette midwives did the same up in front. The group of friends soon found themselves inside of the 'Star Glow' club. Its energy was upbeat. The dance hall was full and swinging music filled the low lit room. Cigarettes were smoked, sodas and something a little stronger were drunk, only by Patsy and Delia. All were made to dance upon the absolute insistence of one Trixie Franklin.

Patsy soon found herself swaying from side to side, along with the lively music, happily letting her hand swing closely to Delia's. The evening was off to a very good start and she found it all rather delightful. Noticing the way Delia's eyes sparkled as Barbara made a joke without intending to; glancing down with a smile of her own, the red head felt blessed that she could call Delia Busby her girl.

Ready for more liquid refreshments, Trixie along with Delia had gone to fetch the next round of drinks.

''It is rather thirsty work, all this dancing.'' Barbara nodded to Patsy from their newly acquired seats.

Getting ready with her response, the red head's attention was diverted towards Trixie who was returning alone from the bar, causing her to wonder what had happened to the blonde's manners.

''You've left Delia to carry the drinks alone?" Patsy questioned instantly leaving her conversation with Barbara behind.

''No. Not exactly.'' The midwife grinned placing her both hands to her knees. As if whatever she was about to say next was of most importance. ''A rather dashing Welsh man, who just happened to be at the bar, has taken rather a shine to our dear friend.'' Trixie continued to spill the gossip with such glee, joy clearly spreading on her face at the very thought of Delia bagging herself a man.

''What!?'' Patsy perched herself forward from her booth seat, clearly not feeling the same eagarness.

''Oh and what are the chances that he's also from Wales?" Barbara grinned partly at her own observation. With the same knowing nod from the blonde.

''You left her talking to him? Alone?'' Patsy still probed a frown beginning to appear now. She had feared this very scenario happening.

''Patsy, sweetie. You sound as overly protective as Delia's mother. I think our Deels can handle herself.'' Trixie chuckled with fondness.

The use of her own pet nickname being used against her sent the red head's expression beyond sour.

Looking toward the bar, Patsy's eyes scanned the crowd of people as she found her target. The red head would happily step in, rescuing Delia from any unwanted advances. Expecting to see her girl wearing a frown and politely trying to back away from this awful man, invading her poor beloved's space, she faulted. Delia was smiling. No, she was laughing. The very sight caused anger to take over any rational part of her brain and she gripped the red leather seat of the booth. Her nails dug in further as Barbara gave her a smile.

''It's lovely that you care for Delia so.'' The girl glanced towards the bar to where Patsy was staring.

''What!?'' She snapped more sharply than intended.

''No. I just meant that you're so close.'' Barbara smiled, sensing she should perhaps not say anything further but she simply couldn't leave it there; not with the way the red head was glowering now. ''I've always longed for a best friend like that.'' She explained with a firm nod of her head.

''Thank you, sweetie. What am I?'' Trixie jibed, folding her arms, pretending to be wounded by her comment.

''Trixie. No. I just meant.'' Barbara began to explain until the blonde laughed.

''I'm only teasing, Barbara.'' She placed a loving arm upon her friend's arm.

Not really concentrating on what her friends had to say, the midwife needed to get to the bar. Surely she must be mistaken. Delia would not be interested in sharing her evening with some strange chap. ''I'd better see if she needs any help after all.'' Patsy got to her feet, not usually ruffled by petty jealousy, but at this moment her eyes could have turned from blue to green.

Pushing through the crowd she reached the bar and cleared her throat loudly behind her lover.

''Oh Pats?'' Delia turned around with a smile noticing her girlfriend's smile was forced upon her expression. She'd seen that more than once before.

''Not interupting, am I?'' The red head said through rather gritted teeth.

Not quite sure what she meant by that question, the younger nurse gave her another smile. ''Trixie suddenly abandoned me and as you can see there is a bit of a queue.'' Delia moved her hand touching the back of her knuckles with the red head's, who still remained stern.

''I think we both know why,'' Patsy said sharply, her eyes squinting with anger.

''Hmh?'' The nurse thought for a moment, ''Oh? Not because of..." Delia didn't even finish her thought and instead chose to laugh at the silliness of Trixie's plan.

''You think this is funny Delia? That it's a laughing matter?'' She said in such a tone that only the Welsh woman could hear.

''Come on, Pats. You know what Trixie's like,'' Delia soothed hoping that Patsy would soon see the funny side too. She didn't.

''So Trixie forced you to laugh alongside him?'' She could hear herself and knew she sounded completely stupid, but she just couldn't stop herself. Watching the Welsh woman try to keep her composure made the red head feel even more erratic. Which was not her usual demeanour. ''A gin please'' Patsy suddenly shouted to the girl behind the bar. With the force of her tone, the drink was soon placed in front of her and in a matter of seconds the alcohol was gone, much to the consternation of a frowning Delia.

''You're being utterly ridiculous, Pats,'' She shook her head finally being handed the tray of drinks.

Stomping off to go find the others, Patsy had a sudden thought; where exactly was this Welsh man? He was nowhere to be seen. _'Whoops!'_ She thought to herself.

She ordered another gin, and then another. She felt a little foolish, but she just couldn't shake the thought of her Deels laughing with another. Making her way back to her friends, they were in mid flow of casual conversation, one guess about what and she rolled her eyes as she realised the topic.

''As I've said Trix, he simply asked me for a light, and I told him, I don't smoke,'' Delia repeated, ignoring Patsy as if she wasn't there.

''But he offered to buy you a drink?'' Trixie pouted, sipping her lemonade through a straw.

''To which I told him, I'd already just bought my own.'' Delia smiled at her. She knew the blonde meant well.

''Budge up, Deels?'' Patsy asked wanting to reclaim her earlier seat next to Delia. To which the Welsh girl simply got up and scooted next to Barbara.

 _'Rats! The cold shoulder.'_ She sighed to herself as she sat, lighting up a cigarette, as Trixie looked to Delia and then back to Patsy.

''Trixie really thought you two had hit it off.'' Barbara nodded with a half pout, imagining double dates in her mind's eye.

''This song is quite the mover isn't it?'' Patsy suddenly exclaimed, rather awkwardly being ignored again as Trixie spoke up.

''I thought you may have at least had a dance with him, Delia.'' Trixie touched her arm.

''He may still be around somewhere if you'd like too. As he did ask if you were from Wales too?'' Delia nodded as she could feel Patsy watching her closely. She wondered what had given Patsy such a strong reaction to all of this.

''He did, hmh? Though I don't think my Welsh accent would be up to much, if I were to attempt one.'' The three of them laughed minus Patsy.

''Thank you for the drink, Delia.'' Patsy almost mumbled, when Trixie shreiked out at the new song that was playing.

''Ladies shall we?'' Trixie hopped on her feet leaving no choice for Barbara as she pulled her to her feet as well.

''No-''  
''No.'' Both Patsy and Delia said in unison.

''Suit yourselves.'' Trixie shrugged leading an unwilling Babs to the dance floor.

Looking at the nurse, who was watching her friends, Patsy bit at her bottom lip. ''Didn't you want to dance?'' The red head tried to coax her around with one of her cute half smiles, as she glanced her way.

''Don't Pats.'' Delia folded her arms turning away, she was still hurting at her lover's seeming doubt.

Lighting another cigarette, Patsy with her other free hand, tried to reach discreetly for the Welsh woman's knee, but her girl sharply pulled away.

''Deels?'' She tried again.

''No, Pats. You really thought I was flirting with some man at the bar?'' The hurt in her eyes was clear to see as she finally made eye contact.

''Can you blame me?'' She pouted, trying to sound as adorable as she could (which wasn't hard for her).

''Every man in this place is practically falling over themselves to get to you.'' She bit her lip once more.

''Even if that were true, I wouldn't care. You really think so little of me?'' Delia sighed and just before Patsy could answer a Welsh accent wafted across the table. She shot the seeming stranger a look of pure venom; she was not amused. Why didn't he get the message earlier that _HER_ Delia was in no way interested.

Her mind raced, and she did not really hear what was said expect when Delia answered, "I'll sit this one out."

Then she noticed Delia pointing over toward where Trixie and Barbara were dancing. Stubbing her cigarette out in a very aggressive fashion into the ashtray, Patsy stared pointedly at Delia.

''What? It's not like I invited him over.'' Delia stared back feeling her bottom lip quiver ever so slightly.

''We should be dancing together, Deels,'' Pasty sighed, ''At the Gateways'' She whispered, ''I didn't even want to come here.'' Patsy felt a pang of instant regret as Delia rushed from her seat, heading towards the toilets. Sighing at herself with a roll of her eyes, Patsy was about to follow her when Barbara approached the table.

''Seems Trixie doesn't need me for this dance.'' The midwife smiled, picking up her lemonade. ''Where did Delia go to in such a hurry?'' She shrugged as she watched Patsy get to her feet and walk away, also in a seeming hurry. Alone now, Barbara frowned a little confused, and sipped at her pop.

 **A/N - Thank you! More soon. x**


	3. Delia, oh Delia

(I must say, a very **BIG** thank you to Steff for helping me with all the proof reading. As always, if there are any errors that I have missed, they are all mine. )

I was so inspired by reading about a drunken Patsy, in the wonderful work of, ' _A_ _Matter of Trust_ ' by Steff. I just had to write my own version of her. Hope you enjoy...

* * *

Patsy pushed the main toilet door open with force. As she called out, ''Delia?'' She realised they were not alone, noticing a woman wiping her hands dry. As Patsy gave her an embarrassed smile, she went to stand next to her girlfriend at a nearby sink.

''Are you alright?'' The red head tried to sound cheerful as she glanced to the woman walking out of the toilets.

Checking the doors on the other toilet stalls, all open and empty, Patsy quickly washed her hands as she lowered her voice.

''Please don't be cross with me,'' She pleaded as she wiped her hands dry, noticing that Delia had been crying. Her heart sank at the sight of her tears. She was the cause of this pain, and she wanted to put it right as quickly as she could.

''Delia?'' She touched her shoulder, keeping her hand held there. ''I've been an utter fool,'' she confessed to her own stupid behaviour.

Not even glancing at her, Delia continued to dab at her eyes with the tissue she was holding.

''Delia?'' Patsy softly called, her voice a mixture of adoration, hope and regret. Stepping forward, the red head's hand fell from where it was currently resting, as the Welsh woman finally looked up at her and she showed the brunette, her best, ' _I'm sorry_ ' smile.

''I don't really want to talk now. What I would like is to go home, but I won't do that, because it's Trixie's night out and I refuse to spoil it for her.'' The pretty nurse nodded almost to herself, trying to regain her composure.

''Delia, please,'' Patsy pressed, wanting to sort things out now. The uneasy feeling, knowing she had made Delia cry left Patsy wanting to make it all better.

''I said leave it Patsy.'' The way the words were spoken and the staunch look in the younger woman's eyes gave Patsy no choice but to do as she requested.

As Delia began to walk back into the club with Patsy following on behind she felt the sting of Delia using her full name, instead of her usual loving nickname.

Once they had returned to their table, Barbara was quick to ask if everything was alright.

''I think the whisky has given me a bit of a headache,'' Delia lied trying to make her tone as light as possible.

''Oh, no. I'm sorry to hear that.'' The caring midwife's expression fell with sympathy for her friend. ''Would you like me to get you a glass of water? That always helps me, when I'm having rather a heavy head.''  
Smiling at her kindness, Delia shook her head as Trixie returned from the dance floor.

''Who is having a heavy head?'' Trixie repeated with interest, as she took her seat.

''Delia has a headache.'' Barbara nodded, looking back to the fellow brunette.

''Oh, I am sorry to hear that, Delia. Are you feeling well enough to stay for a little while longer?'' Trixie double blinked, quickly continuing, not giving the nurse much choice on the matter. ''Because our Welsh-man friend over there is quite the dancer.' The blonde chuckled.

''He isn't really my friend, Trixie.'' Delia firmly shook her head, noticing Patsy staring at the floor.

Quick to pick up on her tone, Trixie hoped she had not inadvertently stepped on her toes, as it were. As she was rather quick to dance with the man, who really only seconds before had shown an apparent interest in Delia. Suddenly feeling like the worst friend in the world, Trixie sighed. ''Delia, do forgive me. I suppose I really should have asked if it was alright.''

Looking rather puzzled, the nurse replied, ''If what was alright?'' As Trixie grabbed her hand, seeming as if she was about to beg her for forgiveness.

''I feel just ghastly. I wouldn't have danced with him, if I thought for one single second that you liked him.'' Trixie looked genuinely concerned.

Casting a sly glance to her girlfriend, who looked like she had a few choice words to say on the matter, Delia forced a giggle. ''Trixie I can 100% assure you, that I don't like him one tiny bit.'' She smiled, trying to reassure Patsy as much as Trixie.

''You really don't?'' Trixie smiled with relief.

''No.'' Delia returned the smile.

''Thank goodness for that.'' Trixie took a long sip of her lemonade, ''This calls for some more drinks. Since our Delia has a headache, she may enjoy a lemonade." The blonde got to her feet. "Patsy? What would you like?'' Trixie asked, before making her way to the bar.

''Another gin please,'' she replied, her tone flat.

Trixie resisted the temptation to impart her newly found wisdom upon her friend in regards to hiding bad moods and emotions into the bottom of a bottle. She knew now was not the time to share her own painful experiences upon the matter. After all it was everybody's night out and Patsy did not appear to be drunk and perhaps would not relish a lecture, given her current temperament. Instead she simply went to order the next round of drinks.

A little while later, with a few more drinks inside of her, Patsy made three attempts to slide her empty glass onto the table. The room became a little hazy as the red head tried to focus upon her girlfriend. It would have been a lie if she were to say that she wasn't glad when Trixie finally called it a night. Once she stood to her feet, the red head tried her best to steady herself as the four of them headed home.

As they walked along the streets, Patsy hid her tipsy state rather well to all except Delia. The Welsh nurse, though still in a bad mood with her lover, faithfully linked her arm through Patsy's as they continued their way home.

''Delia? Deels?'' Patsy spoke, her voice dipping in various tones.

''What?'' Delia answered in a less than friendly way. She didn't feel like giving her girlfriend any pity right now. It was her, after all, drinking large amounts of gin. She had brought this state upon herself.

''Delia? Delia?'' The red head began to splutter with her giggles, loud enough to cause both Trixie and Barbara to turn their heads.

Giving a raised eyebrow, the two midwives continued on walking, going back to their own conversation.

''Delia.'' She almost sang, ''I like the way that sounds. Delia, Delia.'' Patsy purposefully bumped herself into her lover, trying to be affectionate. Given her gin-like state, she was a little more firmer than intended, causing the nurse to trip slightly off balance.

''Whoops. Sorry.'' Patsy laughed, as the brunette looked up at her girlfriend less than amused. ''Don't be angry.'' Patsy had forgotten the meaning of volume control, as her words were loud through the quiet streets.

''Shhh! Pats.'' Delia tried to quieten her down. At this moment, the midwife clearly had no filter on her words. Delia just hoped she wouldn't say anything she was not supposed to.

''Everything all right?'' Trixie halted a moment, looking at Delia.

''Fine.'' Delia smiled, as Patsy did a very overly enthusiastic nod.

''Okay. If you say so.'' Trixie tried to hide her laughter. She could now clearly see all those drinks had finally caught up to their red headed friend.

As she let her friends up in front walk on, Delia tried to lag behind slightly with Patsy. She wanted some distance from the other two midwives up ahead. As she could see, Patsy's full attention was focused on her.

Giggling, the taller woman grabbed hold of Delia's hand and began to swing it back and forth. ''Show me a smile. Pleeeease!'' She suddenly got the idea in her drunken head that if somehow she got her girlfriend to smile, she would be forgiven for her earlier behaviour.

''Let's just get you home Patsy,'' Delia said firmly.

''Pats.'' Patsy pouted.

''No. You're called Pats,'' Delia corrected. Surely she had not drunk that much to forget her own name.

''No. Silly.'' Patsy giggled, ''You call me Pats.'' She shook her head suddenly, sounding quite upset. ''You're mad at me when you don't call me Pats.'' The midwife's lip pouted out.

''Patsy, I mean, Pats, I don't always call you Pats. I call you Patsy too.'' Delia was now confusing herself.

''So you're not cross with me anymore?'' Patsy stopped in the street, to take a good look at her girlfriend.

''...No. I'm not.'' She shook her head. What was the point of holding on to a misunderstanding. Especially, when the person was drunk.

''Wonderful.'' The red head let out a burp. Delia could not help but let out a smile at that one; Nurse Mount forgetting her manners.

Near to home, Patsy was filling her girl's ear with much talk of many things. At some point, the tone changed, and Patsy began to sing, quietly at first. ''I don't want no other baby, but you, Deels...''

Without missing a beat, Delia turned to her, ''No, Pats. Not now. Please. For me. Promise?'' The nurse grabbed her hand tighter, ''No singing!''

''Okay. Just for you, Deels.'' Patsy giggled, not really understanding why she couldn't sing out.

''Just try not to say much to Trixie when you go back to your room,'' Delia sighed.

''I won't say a word, Delia. Deels.'' She giggled loudly, ''Delia, oh Delia." The drunken red head began to burst into song, until she stopped, ''Delia?'' She lowered her tone, casting a glance around the empty street, ''Delia?'' She uttered again, ''No singing. I remember.'' She pointed to herself rather proudly, as Delia rolled her eyes.

Once in the hallway of Nonnatus house, Delia tried to linger as long as possible, until Trixie felt it was time to take charge of their friend. To give poor Delia a break, as the blonde nurse viewed it.

''Come on, Deels.'' Patsy held out her hand, as Barbara bid them all a goodnight, heading back to her own shared bedroom.

''Sorry Patsy. No more drinks for you. Our Delia has to get to bed.'' Trixie smiled warmly as if she were speaking to a child.

''She isn't ours!'' Patsy was ready to go into a long lecture about how the Welsh nurse was all hers, and she did not want to share, until Delia's quick thinking, ''Now, now Pats. Listen to Trixie and get to bed.'' Delia stared into her eyes, hoping their talk from earlier had sunk in.

''Yes! Listen to Delia and listen to me.'' The blonde chuckled leading Patsy into their bedroom.

''Delia can come too.'' Patsy nodded, pouting considerably, still holding out her hand for the Welsh woman to take.

''No. She has her own room, remember?'' Trixie shook her head, ''Thank goodness, I found the strength to stop drinking that ghastly liquid.'' The midwife phrased it as a flippant remark, but Delia knew the real meaning behind her words. Thinking for a moment about Trixie's own personal courage, Delia held the blonde's arm with a nod.

''Now, lets get this one into bed.'' Trixie smiled back with her own knowing nod.

''Make sure she has some water to hand.'' Delia nodded, leaving the room, as Trixie was closing the bedroom door.

''Goodnight.'' Trixie told her. ''I'll take care of her. Don't worry. Sleep tight.'' She added, shutting the door.

''GOODNIGHT DEELS.'' Was suddenly heard at high volume through the door.

Left standing there, unable to assist her girlfriend when she needed her (even if she was drunk), made Delia feel shut out. It was her job to tuck her in. To make sure she was OK and to hear her ramblings before she fell into a tipsy sleep. Sighing, she went to her own room.

 **A/N - Thank you! I hope this chapter gave you a few giggles? I do appreciate all the reviews I get. They help me to focus on writing the next chapter. More soon. x**


	4. Giving chase

\- Another very big _hats off_ to Steff, for all of her patience and help. If any errors have gone unnoticed, then they are all mine. -

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Delia was surprised to note that the clock said 5am when she was awoken by her door creeping open.

Appearing in the room, her hair messy, looking pale and already hung over, Patsy tip-toed over to the bed. Climbing in under the blankets, the red-head quickly wrapped her arms tightly around Delia, ''Sorry.'' She whispered sincerely, her voice a little hoarse.

''I'm surprised that you're up at this hour.'' Delia looked lovingly at her face.

''Me too. I guess even when I'm a little inebriated, my sleeping pattern is still set like clockwork,'' Patsy replied, squeezing the brunette's waist with care.

''A little drunk?'' Delia giggled softly, thinking back to her earlier antics.

''Ah, yes, I tried singing to you, didn't I?'' A burst of red coloured Patsy's usually pale cheeks.

''And you burped,'' Delia laughed, trying to keep quiet.

''Did I?'' Patsy scrunched up her face with complete embarrassment, as if the memory had just returned to her.

''Yes.'' Delia beamed.

''Thank goodness that it was only you who heard me.'' Patsy closed her eyes for a long second.

''I love getting to see all the parts of you that no one else gets to see.'' Delia's voice was filled with love.

''I'm the same.'' Patsy kissed her cheek. ''Even the burps,'' she added with a chuckle, until she winced slightly.

''Heavy head?'' Delia asked, to which the red-head only nodded. ''Come here, you fool.'' Delia leaned in, kissing her lips with a soft kiss.

''Sorry. I haven't in fact been able to clean my teeth, but I did steal three mints that Barbara left on the bed side table from earlier this evening,'' Patsy rambled, trying to hide her own embarrassment.

''Doesn't matter. As I said, I love you, burps and all.'' Delia really did and lucky for her the taste of mint was still fresh enough in her mouth.

Leaning in for another kiss, Patsy felt better already. All she had really wanted all night was to feel Delia in her arms.

"Pats?" Delia gently coaxed. "What was tonight all about?" She hoped now they were alone, she might open up.

"I..." Patsy paused purposefully. The red-head was not entirely sure why she behaved so jealously. She trusted Delia with all her heart. She knew something was weighing heavy on her but she did not want to face it. Patsy had for many years, successfully avoided going back to her past. She blocked out the memories and pretended it simply had not happened. Lately, as much as she hated to acknowledge the fact, that place was creeping back into her dreams. The meaning from the other night's nightmare was not lost upon her. It still played like a moving picture inside of her head. Its meaning? The camp! She had lost two of the most important people in the world to her in that dreadfully horrific place. Now another fear was creeping up on her; one that wasn't so easily dismissed. The notion finding it's way inside of her head was, what if she lost Delia again? It was a thought she really wasn't prepared to deal with. It was easier to block all of her emotions out. She would simply crack on, dust off one's smile and whistle a happy tune. "I've said sorry and I hope you know I mean it?"

"Of course, sweetheart." Delia sighed, cupping her hand to her pale face, "It's just... Was it me? Did I do anything tonight that made you feel as if you had to act jealous, because Pats; it really isn't like you." Delia sighed, trying to re-evaluate her actions tonight.

"Darling, no!" Patsy was firm pecking a kiss to her soft lips, "I guess I was just sulking because I did not want to go there in the first place. You have done nothing wrong." She kissed her again, longer this time.

"Trixie at least had a good evening." Delia traced her finger slowly down the red-head's nose.

"Hm." Patsy huffed, still feeling the effects of all the gin she had consumed.

"Urg! We have to get up in half an hour," Delia grumbled, craning her neck to see the bedside clock. "You'll have to make sure to eat an extra helping at breakfast, to soak up any remaining gin in your system," Delia noted caringly as Patsy was cat-napping upon the pillow.

"Yes. Nurse Busby." She gazed at her through the wink of her eye.

Putting her best foot forward, the tall midwife was feeling rather sluggish as she cycled across the cobble stones of Poplar. With each jerk of the wheels gliding along the uneven stones, Patsy could feel the jolt going right to her pounding head. She had never been more grateful of the offer of a cup of tea from one of her district patients. She simply couldn't wait for the working day to be over. Glancing to her watch, resting against her uniform she saw it was time to go home. She had to stop less than halfway home for a much needed cigarette break. Reaching a surprisingly quiet Nonnatus house, Patsy was in need of a sit down. After putting away all of her kit, the red-head sunk herself into the small settee. Only intending to close her eyes for a moment, she realised she had drifted off to sleep.

With a gentle yawn, hidden behind the palm of her hand, she heard a cry of loud laughter.

Smiling with sweet recognition, Delia was home. Pulling herself up, she dragged her tired feet to move one in front of the other to meet the sound of the giggling. She felt her grin widen as she approached the kitchen. She halted. Glancing around the empty space, she arched her brow in mild confusion. "Delia?" She asked out as another loud giggle filled the quiet space.

As she turned on her heel, she felt a blast of cool air rush past her. The midwife spotted a shape moving at a fast past up the stairs. It was followed by another soft sounding giggle. With a bite of her bottom lip, she surveyed the quarters to check they were indeed alone before giving chase to her playful girlfriend. "Oh, Delia?" She teased, reaching the bottom step of the staircase.

She listened for yet more laughter and a blast of chuckles came from the hallway. With a wide smile, she hurried her pace. Noticing the shadow on the floor heading into her shared bedroom, Patsy was in pursuit of the Welsh beauty. "Delia?" She grinned, pushing open the bedroom door. She stopped in her tracks at the sight of the brunette sitting on the edge of her bed, head firmly into her hands crying. Patsy darted to her side.

"Darling? What is wrong?" She asked concerned, running her hand softly along the top of her head, "Delia?"

The sound of her cries became louder causing the midwife to look on in alarm. What on earth could of happened to make her upset like this?

"Delia please look at me, darling." She requested tenderly trying to get her lover to remove her hands away from her face. "Delia. Please," she begged with a frown. She tugged at her wrists a little more firmly but the nurse refused to look at her.

"Delia? Speak to me. Tell me what is wrong?" Patsy begged. Caught off guard, the young nurse pushed forward knocking Patsy onto her backside as she darted out of the room.

"Delia?" She scrambled to her feet chasing after her girlfriend, running right behind her as the hallway became suddenly darker. Her feet felt more heavy as Delia turned to look at her from over her shoulder as she ran, "Pats?" She called holding out her hand behind her for the red-head to take.

"Delia. I can't quite..." She reached with all of her might but it was no use. The nurse was much too fast for her. Then the sound of a strict foreign male's voice cut through the silence, leaving Patsy feeling petrified.

"No. No!" Patsy helplessly shook her head as she fought back the tears ready to fall from her eyes. As she watched the uniformed man push Delia down to the floor. Patsy would not let these men control her life again and she certainly would not let them anywhere near her beloved Delia. She strode forward, ready to rein whatever blows she could muster down on this sinister figure. She stopped in her tracks as a familiar soft, sweet rich voice called out to her.

"Patience?"

"Mother?" Patsy felt her whole body freeze as her name was spoken again with a higher volume.

"STOP!" The man shouted in accented English, as he covered his ears using his hands. The sound of the genteel voice seemed to repel him and he retreated. Patsy began to shake as her legs buckled from under her, sending her falling into a heap next to Delia. With every effort the red-head reached for her lover's hand as something grabbed her shoulders, "Mother?" She muttered, being greeted by sister Monica Joan gently bringing her from the deep sleep she was in.

"No, child. It is only I." The nun stared blankly at her, still keeping hold of her.

"Where is Delia?" Patsy asked with panic to her voice, dazed from her sleep.

"She is not here." Sister Monica Joan finally let her go as Patsy moved, getting to her feet.

"Yes. She's still at work. Silly me. Well, I'd better get changed out of my uniform before dinner." Patsy gave her best smile, before leaving the room. She had no time to feel embarrassed, or to question what sister Monica Joan may have over heard her shouting during her sleep. She just needed a moment to herself, to gather her thoughts together.

Once inside her bedroom, the red-head reached for her packet of cigarettes with a shaky hand. She had not heard the sound of her mother's voice in many years. Quickly taking a long, comforting drag on the cigarette, she began to rub the side of her temple.

 **A/N - I hope this isn't too much of a slow burner? More soon. x**


	5. Patsy's shoe box

\- I really need to give a lot of praise to Steff, for all of her help and amazing editing skills. **_Thank you, Steff!_** If any errors have gone unnoticed then they are all mine. -

* * *

When she finally returned home from work, Delia was startled to discover Patsy sitting on her bed. Before she even had chance to step inside the room, Patsy bounded into her arms, squeezing her just as tightly as she had done when they reunited outside the red phone box, after her absence in Wales.

The Welsh nurse held her close and kept her tone bright. "Hmm, I could get used to this." She attempted to step back but the red-head had not loosened her grip. Giving a comforting rub against her back, the nurse kissed her cheek as the red-head let her go.

Once she had closed the door, Delia noticed the ashtray she kept by her bedside table for Patsy was full of stubbed out cigarettes. Eyeing her lover's pale face, she reached for her hand and guilded them both down onto the bed. "How was your day, sweetheart?" She asked kissing the back of Patsy's hand tenderly.

"Fine. Yes." Patsy quickly muttered.

"No heavy head then?" She smiled. Even though Patsy was sitting right beside her, the midwife seemed a million miles away. "Pats?"

"Yes." Patsy gave a half smile. "I have a slight headache." She told a part truth. "I'm just glad to see you," she sighed sincerely.

"I'm glad to see you too." The brunette playfully nudged her. She sensed there was something more on her mind but she knew Patsy well enough not to push her. She would open up, when she felt ready to.

"Could you hold me, Deels?" Patsy asked her voice sounding meek, as she lay herself down upon the bed.

"Of course, sweetheart." Delia snuggled herself into the midwife instantly feeling Patsy's iron like grip wrap around her. It felt as if Patsy never wanted to let her go. The nurse had a sudden epiphany on the reason for Patsy's request. The lost look painfully painted upon her expression; the way her hands grasped around her waist. Something had happened to trigger a memory about the camp.

Delia was silent for a long moment; unsure how to proceed. She did not want to risk upsetting Patsy further but felt her heavy heart was screaming at her to help take some of the pain away. "Pats?" She softly spoke, without a clue what to say next.

"Deels?" She asked, seeming as if she had not heard Delia moments before. "When did you last speak to your mother?"

"Mam?" Delia uttered in surprise. She really wasn't expecting the subject of her mother to be mentioned. "Hmh? The last time she came for high tea with us. So that was a month ago. Why?" Delia looked up at her now.

"You should really speak to her more often," Patsy nodded firmly.

"Am I hearing you right?" Delia smiled lovingly. "Usually I have to drag you along to high tea. Besides she sent me a letter just the other day." Delia shrugged.

"That isn't good enough, Deels. She should really consider instailing a phone. Then you can speak to her whenever you wish." Patsy remained firm.

"She won't do that. She'd say apart from me, there would be no one else to call. You know they're not big on phones down where they live." Delia chuckled until the penny dropped. The camp. Mentioning her mam. Her seeming sadness. It began to fall into place. Something had made her remember her mother. Delia knew Patsy only mentioned her mother on very rare occasions. The subject was simply too upsetting  
for the red-head to talk about.

The Welsh nurse recalled the first time Patsy had shared the contents of her shoe box with her. The red-head kept it hidden under her bed. It was her keepsake box. Housed inside were items most precious to her. Items included, picture house ticket stubs from their first trip to the movies together, photographs, love letters and her mother's pocket mirror. Delia had watched on in amazement, while Patsy placed the mirror into her hands. She held the tiny mirror with the utmost care, while Patsy told stories she remembered about her mother.

The one Delia recalled most clearly was how much of a presence Patsy's mother would have when entering into a room. Patsy described the way every head would turn to look at her and the way her perfume would delightfully linger. The Welsh nurse wore a wide smile when she told a blushing Patsy, how the same thing happened whenever she walks into a room.

"Oh Pats," she accidentally let slip, filled with absolute sorrow.

Glancing at her and the tone of voice used, Patsy stared into her girlfriend's big blue eyes. "I should really let you get changed out of your uniform." Patsy broke away the embrace, with a small smile. "Sister Winifred has your dinner warming in the stove." The red-head got to her feet making her way over to the door.

"Wait, Pats." She paused. Her girlfriend looked so lost standing there. She wished she had the right words to take all of her pain away. Deciding it would be better if she let the unspoken subject go for now, Delia smiled warmly at her, "Do I at least get a kiss?"

"Of course." The midwife returned the smile with a single nod, before she pecked her lips tenderly. She appreciated the fact that Delia understood when to leave things alone and not pry. Kissing the top of her brunette locks, she left her to get changed.

Patsy kept her girlfriend company at the empty table, while she ate her re-heated food. A little later on in the evening Patsy opted to retire to her bedroom, hoping she would not be disturbed for awhile. She needed a moment alone. The midwife sat on the bed after retrieving her shoe box from its hiding place. Initially, it was the photograph of Delia in her nursing uniform that gave her comfort. She then moved onto her mother's perfume bottle, running her finger along the glass. She let out a sigh before moving on to the beautiful pocket mirror.

Staring at her own reflection, she recalled how her mother would always have the mirror upon her person. Her train of thought was broken by the sound of Trixie's voice.

"Goodness. What a day it has been." The blonde smiled, unbuttoning her uniform as she went along.

Not really listening, Patsy quickly tucked the mirror back into its hiding place, along with the shoe box.

"Are you not going to ask me why my smile is so wide?" Trixie fluttered around the room with a giggle.

"Trixie, why is your smile so wide?" Patsy did her best to muster a smile, while she indulged her friend.

"Well, I'll tell you." She grinned, slipping her dress over her head before flopping down onto her bed, with another set of giggles. "Do you remember that rather dashing Welsh man I danced with last night?" Her grin widened.

"Hmh." Patsy smiled, tight-lipped. How could she forget?

"He was so eager to see me again, that I found him on the door step when I returned home."

"What? He was here?" Patsy found her voice rising in volume, as a million thoughts crashed through her mind.

"Yes. Being a gentleman, he did not venture inside. Instead he chose to wait for me outside. Tomorrow he wants to buy me a cup of coffee." Trixie clapped her hands together with glee, as Patsy's expression soured. She did not want this man hanging around. Especially around _her_ Delia.

"You don't even know him." Patsy uttered sharply.

"I hope to change that, sweetie." She smiled, "Oh, he does have rather lovely deep brown eyes, and he seems kind but not overly sensitive." Trixie began to light up her sobranie cigarette.

"Trixie I..." She began but her words were cut short.

"Oh, what does one wear for a simple coffee date. I will need many outfits and many opinions." She excitedly waved her cigarette to-and-fro. "I'm certain I will be needing Delia's opinion."

Patsy could already feel her temper begin to rise and upon the mention of Delia's name. The red-head could feel her shoulders tense. "Delia's? why?"

"Sweetie, out of everybody here I believe Delia knows the taste of a Welsh man." She smiled, "We should call her up here."

"No," Patsy disagreed firmly. "She is watching TV."

"Oh, I'm sure she wouldn't mind..." Trixie found her words being overspoken, by the raised voice of her friend.

"Do you honestly believe everybody has the time to hear all about your personal life?" Patsy stood to her feet, tired of listening to Trixie prattling on.

She left the blonde bewildered as she exited the room.

Retreating to the bench in the garden, Patsy tried to draw strength from the cigarette she was smoking. Her mind was to bogged down by other thoughts to pay any mind to her outburst on Trixie. Looking up toward the starless night sky, the midwife wanted nothing more than to shake off this melancholy mood she was increasingly finding herself in. Closing her eyes for a moment, she could feel the cold chill of the night air against her face. She heard a soft voice break the silence quietly.

"I thought I saw you come out here." The lilt of her tone, caused Patsy's heart to flutter inside of her chest.

Watching the Welsh nurse wordlessly, Patsy exhaled another large mist of smoke into the air.

"Shall I leave you have a moment to yourself?" Delia asked, with a glimmer of concern to her voice.

With one gentle pat upon the empty seat next to her, Patsy continued to smoke with just the hint of a smile.

"Aren't you cold?" Delia sat herself down, nestling her cold hands between her knees.

"Not anymore." She smiled, huddling the smaller woman under her arm.

The couple remained in comfortable silence, until the offer of a warm cup of Bournvita before bed was too tempting to pass up.

 **A/N - A big** ** _thank you_** **to all of you still following this story. I truly appreciate it. More soon. x**


	6. Any strain of yours is mine

**\- I have been a little bit distracted lately, so I hope this chapter isn't too much of a stop, start.**

 **-I need to shine a spotlight of gratitude upon Steff's superb editing skills, and for tidying up my silly mistakes. Plus an extra nod for Trixie's hovering lipstick.** ** _Thank you!_** **-**

* * *

Patsy was relieved to find the bedroom empty, upon her return. Quickly getting ready for bed, she threw the blankets across herself ready to try and bring sleep to her tired mind. She would make her apologies to Trixie in the morning. The red-head knew she had been unfair with her words as soon as they had left her mouth. With a sigh, she closed her eyes tightly.

Needed on call, Trixie stood in front of the mirror trying to be as quiet as possible, while her room mate slept. She paused for a moment, her lipstick hovering in front of her lips. The blonde heard a murmuring whine that cut through the stillness of the room. She glanced briefly at the sleeping red-head, before she continued to get ready. The mumbling became louder.

Beginning to toss and turn with a loud whimper, Patsy threw her arm down to the side of her.

Wandering over to the red-head's bed, Trixie paused, debating if she should wake her or if the dream would simply pass.

"...Delia?" Patsy shouted out clearly distressed, gripping the blanket tightly.

Deciding it best if she woke her, Trixie gently sat herself on the edge of the bed. "Patsy, sweetie."

Helplessly watching on as the pull of a bad dream had hold upon the red-head, Trixie anxiously leant over her. "Sweetie." Her soft voice called out as the red-head writhed beside her.

The blonde nurse gently stroked her shoulder and called her name again. Patsy awoke with a loud gasp and her eyes squinted as she adjusted to the sight of Trixie seated on her bed.

"Trixie?" She muttered, shying away.

"Sorry for startling you sweetie, but I couldn't simply stand back and watch you have a bad dream." The blonde smiled sympathetically.

"Have you just returned from a house call?" Patsy asked, wanting to move the subject away from her dreams, noticing the blonde was in her uniform.

"No. I'm just off again now actually. Mrs Hensen's waters have broken and nurse Crane is already on call." Trixie got to her feet, returning over to the mirror.

Patsy sat up, fluffling her pillow. "Busy night then."

"Quite," Trixie nodded, looking at Patsy through the reflection in the mirror. "Are you all right?" she asked.

"Yes. Just a nonsensical dream." She shrugged her shoulders, "You know what they're like." She made a point to smile at her caring friend.

Patsy realised this was the first time they had spoken since she had snapped at her, but now was not the time for a heart to heart. The tall nurse just wanted to get to Delia's bedroom as quickly as possible.

"It's just you seemed quite upset. You even called out for Delia." Trixie replaced the wand on her mascara tube.

"Did I?" Patsy eyes went wide, hoping her inner thoughts had not betrayed her. _What else could she have said?_

"Yes. That was all I could make out. Do you remember what the dream was about?" Trixie asked, fastening her cape around her shoulders.

"No," she lied, pretending to snuggle herself down the bed.

"Maybe that is for the best, sweetie. I guess I will see you at breakfast. Goodnight and wish me luck." The blonde smiled, heading out through the door.

"Goodnight," Patsy stated.

With the bedroom door closed, Patsy waited until she heard the sound of footsteps descending the staircase before she let out a deep sigh. Hopping out of her bed, the red-head tip-toed across the landing to Delia's bedroom. Finding her sound asleep, Patsy wasted no time getting under the blankets. Wrapping her arm tightly around the brunette's waist, she pulled Delia closer into her chest as the girl mumbled.

"Pats?" Her voice was groggy with sleep.

"Trixie has just gone out on call," Patsy whispered.

"Oh?" Delia grinned, gingerly turning over to face her. "And you thought you would..." Her words trailed off, as soon as she caught sight of Patsy's perturbed expression.

Delia wished Patsy could find the strength to open up to her. The younger nurse longed to ease her pain and could only imagine the suffering her girlfriend was feeling. Looking at her lovingly, Delia gave her a reassuring smile as Patsy began to run her fingers through Delia's light brown hair.

"Are you feeling OK, sweetheart?" Delia shuffled even closer to her lover's body, softly rubbing her fingertips over her clammy forehead.

"I... had another bad dream," the red-head confessed. She disliked the way her words had caused a deep worrying frown to appear in her lover's beautiful face. Patsy prided herself on maintaining a level of professionalism that went beyond her work, but at this very moment her defenses were down. Exhaling a sharp breath, Patsy was feeling somewhat of a burden for her Welsh lover. Tightly closing her eyes, she willed the tears not to flow.

"Oh, sweetheart. Come here."

Patsy felt the strong arms of her girlfriend wrap around her, as she nestled her chin in the crook of her neck.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" Delia kissed the top of Patsy's head.

Patsy considered her girlfriend's words carefully, but decided against sharing the contents of her bad dream. She knew this dream was completely absurd. Her paranoia over her unfounded jealously the previous night had somehow worked its way into her subconscious mind. The red-head did not want to risk upsetting her lover by expressing unjustified doubts. Patsy knew the dream was the product of her imagination and utterly make-believe, but it had shaken her to the core. The dream still seemed very real and dreaming about Delia dancing in the arms of a man made her feel queasy. The brunette's lips were drawing closer to the gentleman's and Patsy watched on helplessly as her tears flowed. She had feebly tried to shout out, 'Delia.' She was only thankful she had awoken before a kiss was exchanged. Even a fictitious kiss was too much to bear for the red-head.

Feeling weary, Patsy knew she needed to speak about something more important that was playing upon her mind rather than a silly nightmare. Taking a gulp of air through her sniffs, she sighed. "Are you... tired of me?" She asked, her voice muffled against her lover's skin.

Frowning with a mixture of emotions, Delia couldn't quite believe what she was hearing. "Pats, please look at me," Delia asked, as the red-head shook her head holding onto the young nurse even tighter. "Why would you say such things? Let alone think them. I love you with all of my heart and soul, sweetheart."

"You didn't answer my question." Came a weak whimper, whispered against her neck.

"I thought I had, and no. I could never get tired of you." Delia told her firmly. Running her hand through her lover's red tresses.

"I feel as if I tire of myself sometimes Deels." She sniffed. "You shouldn't have to deal with past sorrow."

"Pats, my love for you is strong enough to help you with any weary load you may have on your shoulders. Any strain of yours is mine, sweetheart."

Letting her words wash over her like a warm wave of water, Patsy slowly moved her lips against Delia. The feeling of warmth and contentment from the kiss, quickly taking over her senses.

"You never once gave up on me or us, when I lost my memory," Delia told her, as the red-head shifted uncomfortably. This was something else from her past that Patsy did not like to talk about. She found it easier on her emotions to shut it out.

Feeling the midwife go rigid in her embrace, Delia kissed the top of her head, "I know it's something you don't like to discuss..."

"I'd rather if we didn't." She sighed, tracing her fingertip up and down the brunette's arm.

Trying to disguise her annoyance at the subject being shut down so quickly, Delia exhaled a short, sharp breath.

Patsy knew her girlfriend was holding back once again because of her, and Patsy wasn't sure if she felt relief or misery.

"Delia? I'd like another kiss," the red-head whispered, already edging closer to Delia's mouth. They both knew this was to simply avoid anymore talk of Delia's accident or the deeper cause of Patsy's bad dreams.

Delia allowed the subject to be dropped by placing another peck onto the red-head's lips. She did not want to push as her girlfriend already seemed a little fragile tonight. Holding her close, she cradled her while Patsy drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, while attending to her duties at the clinic, Patsy felt a little lighter, as she replayed Delia's encouraging words of strength and love from last night over in her head. Using them as a sort of crutch, she found herself smiling. She really wanted to do something nice for her girl. Show her a little bit of appreciation. She could perhaps pop into the bakery and buy her something sweet on her way home or maybe give her a foot rub. Patsy knew these little gestures would never be enough to show her full gratitude, but it was a start.

On her way home, Patsy picked up speed with eagerness upon her bicycle as Nonnatus house came more clearly into view. She felt her smirk develop into a grin as she could make out Delia happily talking to Fred, who was in the middle of changing a tire. She was about to call her lover's name when the red-head ground her bike to a complete halt. With a furrowed brow, Patsy could now see a third person with Delia and Fred. It was the man from the dance hall and Trixie's coffee date. Gripping her hands tightly around the handle bars, Patsy was enraged.

 **A/N - Thank you for the lovely reviews. The next chapter finds Delia feeling the need to press Patsy for answers. More soon. x**


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